I Fixed One Thing and My Vehicle Got Mad About It

 

There is nothing quite like the satisfaction of fixing something on your vehicle yourself.

You find the problem, get the tools out, start messing with things, and eventually figure out what needs to be done.

Then you unplug one little wire going to the air filter...

And suddenly the vehicle decides, “Oh, you want to play mechanic? Fine. I’m turning on another noise.”

Apparently, I fixed one problem and unlocked a bonus problem.

That is how vehicles work nowadays. You touch one thing and three sensors start holding an emergency meeting.

You can almost hear them under the hood:

Air Filter Sensor: “He unplugged me.”

Engine Sensor: “Should we tell him?”

Check Engine Light: “Already did.”

Random Warning Chime: “I don't even know what I’m here for, but I’m going to make noise anyway.”

Sometimes I really miss the older vehicles.

Back then, you didn't need a computer science degree just to figure out why your truck was making a funny noise. If something was wrong, you could usually find it, look at it, listen to it, and actually fix it.

Now you need a scan tool, a YouTube video, three different sockets, a flashlight, and possibly a priest.

And let's talk about all these sensors.

There are sensors for everything.

Some of them are useful. I understand that.

But some seem to exist for one reason: to turn a light on and ruin your afternoon.

The vehicle can be running perfectly fine, pulling like it always does, getting you where you're going, and suddenly—

DING!

A warning light comes on.

You look at the dashboard like the vehicle just told you it has six months to live.

Then you scan it and find out some sensor somewhere has decided it doesn't like the temperature, pressure, airflow, voltage, humidity, moon phase, or the attitude of the driver.

And the vehicle is basically saying:

"Nothing is wrong enough to stop running, but I'm going to make sure you worry about it."

Then there is cylinder shut down.

Apparently the vehicle thinks it's doing me a favor by shutting down cylinders while I'm cruising along to save fuel.

I'm not convinced.

I picture the cylinders sitting there with their arms crossed:

“Wake us up when he needs more power.”

Meanwhile, I'm looking at the gas gauge wondering where all these supposed savings are hiding.

If shutting down half the engine is saving me enough gas to buy a candy bar every three months, I'm not sure the engineering department needs to celebrate yet.

Give me an older vehicle where the engine just runs.

If it needs fuel, give it fuel.

If it needs spark, give it spark.

If something breaks, let me see the broken thing instead of sending me on a scavenger hunt through 47 sensors.

Because sometimes I don't want my vehicle to be smarter than me.

I just want to fix the thing, turn the key, hear the engine fire up, and know I fixed it.

Unfortunately, with today's vehicles, fixing one thing can sometimes feel like opening a door that leads directly into another problem.

So now I have learned an important lesson:

If your vehicle is running fine, don't unplug anything.

Because the vehicle might decide you've had enough happiness for one day.

And that little wire you unplugged?

Yeah...

It remembers.