My Interactive Platform: Population Me

 

I always thought having an interactive platform meant people would actually interact with you.

You know… comments. Likes. Questions. Maybe somebody would say, “Hey, that’s pretty funny.”

Instead, I apparently built the internet’s first one-man interactive platform.

Population: Me.

I post something.

I wait.

Nothing.

I check again.

Still nothing.

So eventually I interact with myself.

And honestly, I'm pretty good company.

I don't need a huge following. I don't need 10,000 people commenting on everything I say. I’m perfectly capable of entertaining myself.

I can sit there, come up with an idea, write about it, read it, laugh at it, and then tell myself, “You know what? You should probably do better.”

And then I answer myself.

That's when I know the platform is really taking off.

The Conversation Is Getting Out of Hand

Sometimes I'll ask a question in a post.

Nobody answers.

So I think about it for five minutes and answer it myself.

Problem solved.

No waiting for somebody else.

No arguing in the comments.

No strangers telling me I'm wrong.

Just me having a complete conversation with me.

At this point, I'm basically running a podcast where the host, guest, audience, producer, and guy yelling from the back of the room are all the same person.

And somehow, we still can't agree.

My Biggest Supporter Is Apparently Me

I've discovered something important about having an online platform:

You are your own biggest supporter when nobody else is around.

I see my own post and think:

“That's actually pretty good.”

Then another part of my brain says:

“Yeah, but you could have done better.”

Then I say:

“Fair enough.”

Then I continue scrolling.

That's engagement.

That's interaction.

That's the kind of community management you get when your entire audience is sitting six inches away from you.

I Don't Need Everybody

I'm not looking for millions of people.

I'd actually be happy if a few people stopped by, had a laugh, and thought, “Yep, this guy is a little nuts.”

That's good enough for me.

Because let's be honest, I already have plenty of opinions.

I can entertain myself.

I can tell people who aren't even around me that they're idiots.

I can point out how somebody should probably do better.

And if nobody is available to argue with me about it?

Even better.

I win every debate.

Mostly because I control both sides.

The Ultimate Interactive Experience

My platform has some incredible features.

Comments: Me.

Likes: Also me.

Questions: Me.

Answers: Unfortunately, still me.

Customer service: Me talking to myself.

Technical support: Me yelling at the computer.

Quality control: Me looking at something I made and saying, “That ain't right.”

Motivation: Me telling myself to get off my butt and do it.

Negative feedback: Me.

Positive feedback: Also me, but I don't give it out very often.

And let's not forget the most advanced feature of all:

Accidentally Answering My Own Question

This is where the platform really shines.

I'll be thinking about something and ask myself:

“I wonder why nobody interacts with this?”

Then immediately I'll think:

“Because you don't interact with anybody either.”

…

Well, damn.

There goes another question answered.

No algorithm required.

No analytics.

No focus group.

Just me sitting there accidentally solving my own problems.

At this rate, I might not even need an audience.

I'll just keep posting, keep making things, keep joking around, and keep having conversations with myself.

Because somebody has to keep this platform alive.

And apparently…

that somebody is me.

So if you're reading this and you actually interacted with it somehow, thank you.

You've officially increased the population of my interactive platform by approximately 100%.

Please don't let the fame go to my head.

I've already got enough people up there arguing.

And most of them are me.

so to keep the interaction or non interation alive you can at least look at Shop With Chuckle.